I know that the holidays tend to be an incredibly stressful time for the people in this community.  Luckily, this year I've been able to relax and enjoy myself, and spend a nice Christmas with my family, for which i'm grateful.

I just wanted to say that I hope the rest of you have as good of a holiday as you can, and that maybe today things aren't as bad as they usually are.  Everyone deserves to be happy on Christmas, and i just hope everyone can find that silver lining in their day.  And if it doesn't go so well, you can always post here and i'll try to make you feel better!  And tomorrow is a new day.


hopefully i don't sound too lame : )

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it, and happy Friday to those who don't!

But I may end up cussing out my mother today. I know that sounds really harsh but not without cause. You see, my mother hid the fact that she was pregnant with me. According to my dad I am the result of a one night stand. I've also heard that she tried to give me up for adoption and my grandparents stepped in and were like "If you don't want her we do!". Of course, I can't ask her about it because she lies so much! 
She was upset because my 19 yr old half sister ran off and was missing for two and a half weeks. I was my mothers comfort thru this. Well, I bit my tongue from saying "You disappeared on my for 8 yrs and I had no clue where the hell you were...Now you know how it feels"
But I didn't. Well now the prodigal daughter has returned and wants to get the rest of her stuff because she is living with her boyfriend. Last night my mom was supposed to come over and we were gonna exchange gifts. Well it snowed in Dallas. Really strange mostly because we get ice but never snow. It didn't even stick until after dark. She lives literally ten min away from me and didn't want to come over. So I asked what the plan was for today. Me and my boyfriend are going to my grandma's for lunch/presents with them and my dad and step mom and she is SUPPOSED to call me after she deals with my stupid ass sister and call me. I have a feeling she A) won't call or B) is gonna ditch me. This will be the first Christmas in TEN YEARS that I have seen her.
My dad and step mom think I need to just tell her off good and tell her to just go away. I think my boyfriend is indifferant. And I'm stuck at the crossroads. I don't want to hurt my mom but by holding my tongue, I'm hurting myself even more.
The whole reason I started therapy ever in the first place was to stop being a doormat. Of course, now I stopped the therapist. In any event, I am looking at just counseling. I think I found a free place at a college.
I guess I'm look for advice? Sorry I got so long winded!

Current Mood: annoyed

 I really don't know how to do this...

My brother is in the ICU, sedated, with the possibility of brain damage...like...how do I do this?  My head feels like its off in some other plain of existence, I feel like I'm right on the verge of some sort of psychotic break...I feel flat, I feel restless, I feel exhausted...what does one do when you are in the thick of it?  And your brain has taken a vacation without you to try and deal with things, and you feel hopeless and helpless?...I need counsel.

love u guys! happy holidays! i live in tx and get to have a white Christmas! oh yeah, fired my therapist and she didn't take it well. hugs all around

Current Mood: loved

I found some interesting article that suggest that depression & anxiety can be related to your metabolism/body type if you're an ectomorph, i'm definitely one, can anyone else relate?

Ectomorphic is one of the three classic somatotypes or body types created by William Sheldon. An ectomorphic body type is centered around the brain and nerves. These people are slim and possibly underweight. The ectomorphic person has a cerebrotonic temperament, and is artistic, sensitive, apprehensive and highly self-aware. A more negative way to put it is that he or she is introverted and socially restrained.
Typically speaking ectomorphs have lean bodies with slight or minimal muscle development. Examples of ectomorphs would be marathon runners, swimmers, some basketball players and fashion models. Generally speaking people with ectomorphic bodies have a hard time gaining weight and building muscle mass.

( Read more... )

Current Music: headbanging to Sodom

Coping at Christmas Time

( Christmas can be hard )

Tags: effects of eating disorders

 Freaking the fuck out.  My brother is a Type 1 diabetic and keeps having low blood sugar.  An ambulance was called and apparently he has yet to respond to the needle they give diabetics who are having severe low blood sugar, and I don't even know what that means.  I keep thinking the worst is going to happen.  My mother was all choked up and teary, my dad was on the verge of tears when I relayed this info from my mother to him and I feel so on the edge.  I just do not know how I am going to deal with this if he doesn't come around...the worst keeps going through my head and I just feel like I will lose it completely if it happens.  I'm fighting to remain calm...I don't know how to do this...

Okay, this might be a slightly weird question.

I know Ativan and alcohol together is a no-no, but what about Ativan and food that contains alcohol?

Example, my husband and I make an awesome risotto, but it contains alcohol - 1/2 cup. Would it be bad/possibly dangerous to eat that and then take my Ativan right after or during?

I know that SOME of the alcohol cooks off in food, but not all of it.

What are your thoughts on this? Has anyone taken their Ativan with food that contained alcohol?

So I've decided to spend this X-mas vacation in repose. I'm gonna practice not worrying about things. It sounds so easy...

I'd like to spend the time doing something, but there's so many things I want to do, I'm pretty sure I'll wear myself out trying to do them all. It's hard to choose, and I really don't want to spend the time doing nothing.

Not to mention I have almost no money for buying gifts, which makes me feel cheap, since I know people got things for me. As of right now I'm resorting to homemade X-mas cards like I did two years ago. Nothing says Happy Holidays like marker on construction paper right?

On top of that, my boyfriend's mother seems to have had a change of heart, and is now suddenly the nicest thing ever. He even described the change as "a complete 180." As much as I'd like to believe that this side of her will last, I know she's bipolar, and could completely undo that 180 at any time. And after having her threaten to call the cops on me on Halloween, I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable around her. Maybe I'm just paranoid. I just don't wanna see him hurt if she does go back to how she was.

So obviously it's not starting out so great. Hopefully some meditation and exercise will get my head on straight. I just want a weekend without panic.

Hope everyone has a good holiday. Remember presents aren't everything, but they sure do look nice under the tree.

~Arctic Mime

you know how much it grinds your nerves when people cancel/change plans last minute? guess what happenend to me today guys! my boyfriend told me to call him around five, but i had a hairdressers appointment so i was like ill ring you as soon as i get out and he agreed. so i called him at about five thirty? and he said he cant do anything tonight because hes made plans to go to some guys party he barlely knows, thanks for that one! i didnt even want to argue with him and end up crying/panicking so i just told him to have a good night in a sarcastic tone and hung up the phone. was this a good move? so yeah not having a great time atm, but my hair looks good so i guess thats one less thing to worry about!
hope everyone is doing ok x

Current Mood: crushed